Pain Is Inevitable; Suffering Is Optional !!

People have some common misconception that pain and suffering are same thing. I totally disagree with this. The truth is that suffering is something that we can choose and pain is something that we cannot.

First lets look at the standard definition of both the terms.


Pain: Pain is part of the body's defense system, triggering a reflex reaction to retract from a painful stimulus, and helps adjust behavior to increase avoidance of that particular harmful situation in the future. Given its significance, physical pain is also linked to various cultural, religious, philosophical, or social issues.

The best definition of Pain is given by Margo McCaffery as: Pain is whatever the experiencing person says it is, existing whenever he says it does.

Suffering: The word suffering is sometimes used in the narrow sense of physical pain, but more often it refers to mental or emotional pain, or more often yet to pain in the broad sense, i.e. to any unpleasant feeling, emotion or sensation.


Those were the theoretical definition extracted from Wiki, now I'll try to explain it in my words.


Pain is something which is Inevitable and it has to be, life cannot go on in one (your favorable direction) direction at all the time it must take a turn and this causes mental pain. Pain and life are something which are interconnected so you cannot go away from it.

But it is upon us to how to feel the pain or "Suffer". Suffering is something which can be taken care of. It depends on you that how much you suffer from a pain.

Let me try to explain this with an example.

If there is a red light in a traffic signal then there are 3 kind of emotions which can come.

1. Being normal ( You are very much habitual to it)
2. Going cynical ( WTF!! every signal is red for me)
3. Taking it lightly ( How lucky I am, I again got rest from driving :) ).


The 2nd emotion is most common an people used to suffer from that everyday and third one is rarest .The best thing is none of these emotions are to change the event.. which is making light from red to green before time but all three are suffering differently.


So the point is the choice of your emotion is not going to change the pain but it is definitely going to decide your suffering.


My Special Theory:
As usual I am again posting my special theory over pain and suffering.

There is very beautiful thing about cycles ( waves, patterns, charts, biological cycle) and that is "Every cycle has to undergo a corrective phase at some period of time." or we can say that " No cycle can continue in one direction only, there is always one turning, one crash, one correction" and the best thing is that once this correction is over the things go back to normal.

Lets take the example of stock market ( my personal fav. :P) it cannot keep on rising in one direction there is always some correction at some point of time and after that correction the things go back to normal.

Now coming back to my theory, Pain is a type of correction phase in our life and we should not get depressed at time of pain. We should enjoy that we are having a corrective phase and after this phase we will see much brighter things. The more severe the pain the more you should enjoy because it will be followed by sharp upward waves ( Happiness).

I like to quote a dialogue from movie The dark Knight : The night is darkest just before the dawn.


So whenever you are in deep trouble and having so much physical or mental pain then just think of the Dawn.. It is on the way.


comments are invited

Tension ?

Today due to some circumstances I was tensed and that's why I gave a little thought to this tension word and realized some interesting things about this word.

Definition and usage:

Let me first define the tension. Tension is also known as stress. Wikipedia says that : Stress is a biological term which refers to the consequences of the failure of a human or animal body to respond appropriately to emotional or physical threats to the organism, whether actual or imagined.

Different kind of persons use different kind of words when they are under stress.
Aam aadmi used to say: "Bahut tension hai yaar" ,
Engineers used to say " lagi padi hai",
Doctors and high class people ( people who used to wear tie :P) use term "Stress" for this,
Most of the Americans use "Fu**ed up",
Some Americas used to say "Holy SH*t"

I didn't noticed more civilizations so not commenting on them. If you have some more then please use comments section for same :).

Stress Management:

Stress management is a very fast field, if you google this you will get15,600,000 results.
Don't worry I am not going to copy anything from any of the links. I am like to put something which I used to do for stress management. According to me Tension is nothing but a kind of negative enegy so the basic energy principle will work on this which implies:

"Tension can neither be created nor be destroyed, it can only be transformed from one form to another"

This may sound ridiculous to some of you but if you give it a second thought this principle just works fine :).
Lets take an example for explaining it in better way:



Complete Analysis:

Before you start reading this section. Please make sure that you have at least once read something which you shouldn't :P.

Let's define a unit of tension which is used to measure stress level call it T.
Because of the random behavior of human nature the time decay of tension is quite natural lets say it is 10T/hr.


Suppose you got 50T tension suddenly due to any random reason. Now in normal circumstances it will take 5 hrs(50/10) to you to become normal again.

The better way to reduce tension is discuss the cause behind tension to N no. of people. By doing this you will transfer a fraction of your tension to them :). The more people you discuss the more it will get reduced because they will start sharing this with you. There may be some of them which will drastically reduce it by providing you the solution to the problem which is causing tension.

One thing that you should always keep in mind that like every other theory this theory also have exceptions. There are some persons who can act as tension catalyst and if by chance you try to share cause of your tension with any such person then it will increase you tension drastically. So choose the right ones for this.



In the end I request all of you to think of this theory whenever you feel tensed next time.



comments are invited

It's B-Day

Today is one of the important day of my life, without much effort I turned 24 today. Yeah you gussed it right today is my b'day . For last few years I've been thinking that what is the purpose of celebrating b'day and now after so many years I din't find a concerete reason behind it.

The only thing I noticed about b'day is that your family members ,friends and  acquitances  wish you happy b'day. Earlier I used to get wishes from family and close friends but in today's WEB 2.0 world I recieved scraps (in orkut ) from some person whom I never met or never even have an online chat :P. 

I tried to google this thing . let me first tell you something about google: from the day I knew google I first ask anything from google before asking from my colleague, teacher, manager, seniors etc. The reason is google gives answer in every dimension and never make fun of me in case of silly stupid questions. I googled 'why celebrate b'day' and didn't received any good result. Then I make emphasis on "why" even then the first result was "Why do we celebrate Christ's b-day in Dec when he was born in ...".  Though I got 1 result in which people were discussing the reasons for celebrating b'day. There were 3 comments from different persons:

1. We do celebrate many days like independence day, republic day, frndshp day n many more rite..?? bt wen it comes 2 b'day...its smthng like a day whch we can feel it to be ours ...d day we r born ..d day we r onto dis beautiful earth ...which makes us feel it to be smethng special n consequently we feel ourselves to be very special .. n naturally we like to celebrate our b'days:) 

2. To mark our ages. When we are young it is to get presents. When we get too old for presents, it is so our family can make fun of us for being old.

3. Because it's a good excuse to make someone feel special.

 I personally don't get much satisfaction of knowing I'm one year older then before. Not because I'm a young guy who thinks he's getting old, it's not that. I just don't really care. It's just a fact I don't feel like needs a celebration. Just a "Happy birthday" will do just fine.

In the end I am feeling happy at my b'day not because I got wishes from so many friends or I have done any special thing today but I have talked most of my near and dear ones and make them smile :).

comments are invited